Just a feeling

Just a feeling

Shattered Love

Feelings that never experienced haunting me every minute



She was my dream love that remained unexpressed


It was a sweet dream and an eager yearning for few days,


Her chubby cheeks in her childhood that I carried all along Shimmer before my eye


And I longed to kiss them when I meet her as my bride


Her hair locks that I plucked her to tease teased me for few days as they would be ones to resurrect feeling sensual


I remembered her to play hip hop in little slip-ons and my senses felt her growth all the years with her slip-on on


Two decades passed by and dreams grown along with her age


And she was absent before my eyes but ever present in my mind’s eye.






The day I decided to meet her and ask her to be mine and I felt a strange feeling


And I endured those sweeter thoughts for few months and it all made the difference.






Alas! I found a colorful envelope in my mail box one evening


and I sat down at the gate as my heart felt a blow that thumped it down


It was her wedding invitation and I was invited cordially and resigned with tears of farewell to my dreams and thoughts.


I tried to bury my thoughts in time capsule and wished and prayed for her cheerful wedded life


And wished ‘He’ would be better than me in all aspects and I took a different lass in wedding swearing that I desire no one till death do us apart.


Years passed by, met her twice in five years and showed my wife, the queen who reigned supreme before her arrival.


And I wondered to know later as I learned from my wife that she felt the same as revealed to her and my heart smiled and ventured to forget and I did.






Alas! A great shock that traveled through telephone cables reached my ears that she became single again


The nature is so unjust that she lost her husband in an unnatural death.


My dreams shattered again, my wishes blown off


And I cannot break my oath and stop not endures the pain for her.


But I want to do something as a token of my thoughtfulness for her.


But what I can do?

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MOTHER TERESA (2003)

Mother Theresa Interview (1996) -- part 2

Dear Woman

Christmas with Less fortunate children

For God so loved the world……

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Christmas 2010

Christmas 2010 is the loveliest event that God has brought in  my life.  over the past six months we survived only with the free grace of God almighty where every tomorrow had been a nightmare for us. unsure employment, unpaid payments for the work, mental agony marked the past half year before Christmas.

I never experienced hopelessness as this in my life before. but God mightily showed his strength when am almost knocked to ground zero by the harsh happenings in life and GOD lifted me up just before Christmas with a good job that i am loving.

I praise God for Matthew for his support till June 2010 and letting me involve in his educational project though am much unhappy with my co worker who has been a hurdle to discharge my job efficiently.

I praise GOD for Brother Phil, who really encouraged me with his prayers and support to take the cause of less fortunate children.

My longtime friends Ujjwal and Gautam for their constant love and friendship. Most of the times i did not response to their calls is only signal of my depressed times. I love them and their friendship  till the end of my life.

i am thankful to my friends ms.Steph and Andrea for their occasional ‘ HELLOS’  that instill hope and boost me up.

 

I am thankful to GOD  for my Herat’s favorite Immanuel for the greatest joy i get whenever i think of his naughty and sweetie acts.

Jeshun who gave me double promotion as Grand Uncle as i am not a father yet.

The kid who attracted me most in recent times is our nephew, my B I L’s son Sherwin.

 

1. I am thankful to God almighty for HE being source of strength in every moment of life.
2. My wife who acted as the ‘right help’ to share my sorrows.
3. My Father and brothers and my dear nephews who helped me financially and emotionally.
4. Loving brothers and sisters of AGAPE group who prayed for me and especially Ms.Sybs and Ms.Shirley for their prayerful concern in trying to find a source of income for me.
5. And to my dear friend Ujjwal Swaroop who referred me to a job where it turned fiasco with the attitude of employer. I was never disappointed with any of my past employers as with him. I felt the meaning of exploitation in attitude of this employer.
6. Thankful to my dear sister Ms.Bertha for her kind concern and prayerful support.
7. And now I Praise GOD for his Greatest Love and kindness in giving me a job just before Christmas and am thankful to GOD  for my Boss who encourages and inspires me. My family as a whole grateful to him for his attitude towards me.